Combeferre's Little Fall of Rain
by Invidie
Summary: Finally hearing the thoughts of Combeferre as he stands and watches the only woman he every truly love die in the arms of another...
1. A Little Fall of Rain

**(A/N: Short I wrote for my friends on a twitter RP. Combeferre is my character and his love needed to be known.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Les Miserables...if I did then Eponine and Combeferre would be together forever.**

_Marius. It was always about Marius. She never noticed me…she never acknowledged how much I was actually there. She didn't even see all those times that I was the first person there to help her when she needed it. I was nonexistent in her world. Just another person on the street… another person that she walked past everyday so she could see Marius._

_ I should've told her how I felt…I should've took the chances that were given to me to take her aside and just say: "Éponine I—"_

_ Now it's too late…it's far too late…there's no way of going back to tell her._

_ I can't even tell her as she lies dying…not when she only sees Marius._

_)()()()()()()(_

She is cradled in his arms as the rain falls around us; she holds to him like he is the only thing in this world; and he speaks to her in whispers, words that he only says to ease her pain. We watch with a silence that is only broken by small cries of pain from wounds not yet closed on hurt friends.

_I should help them_.

That's what I think as I stare in the quiet at the only person to break past my walls lies dying in the arms of a friend. I can't bring myself to move and I have to remind myself to breathe just so I can control every bone in my body from collapsing onto the ground.

I can hear her talking in that voice. A voice I dreamt about almost every night since I met her. The very voice I yearned to hear say three words to me that would forever change my life, but will never happen. Not because she's dying, but because of _him_. Because with Marius in this world…she would have continued to never see me.

Her words are soft and soothing, but they can't mend my heart while it slowly shatters listening to what she says.

"Just hold me now…" and I look down biting my lip fighting everything that I want to do. She's not mine, she never was…she never will be. Her heart belonged to Marius even if he didn't want it.

I can hear it in her voice…the pain, the life fading away, and mainly the love she's confessing to Marius. A love that I already knew existed from looking at her. I saw it every time she watched him from across the room and I knew what that look was because it's the same look I had when I watched her.

And here she is lying in her own blood as the rain falls on the barricade and telling Marius that she wants to die in his arms…she wants to die knowing that he knows she loves him.

_I would take her wounds in trade to hear her say those words to me_…

"And rain," I look back to see her with a hand to Marius' face, "will make the flowers…" her eyes drift shut and her hand falls from his face.

Marius gapes at her with tears running down his face, "…grow." He places his lips to her forehead and hugs her to his chest before looking up at Enjolras who is looking at me.

"Combeferre…"

_Why Enjolras? Why me?_

He nods his head of curls towards the two on the ground and I swallow back every feeling in my body to step slowly forward, but my heart lurches in my chest and I thank God for the rain as a tear slipped down my cheek. I drop to a crouch next to the girl and I look at Marius.

He's seen it. He's seen the torment. The pain. The hurt. The love. And he lets her go as if he were releasing her to me…allowing me to finally hold the woman I love.

I look away from him as my eyes focus in on the lifeless face of my fair Éponine. Even in death she is still beautiful as ever and the notion of her being an angel on Earth has finally become true as God grants her those wings to be at peace. I turn my eyes to the ground and feel the presence of Enjolras next to me ready to take her if I can't for some reason, but I reach my arms under her and lift her from the ground.

In that moment I know there is nothing worse that can happen to me than carrying the body of the woman I loved more than anything else on this planet.

I stand to my full height and look straight not wanting to lock eyes with anyone knowing in that one second they would all see what Marius saw and I wasn't willing to let them see me weak in this moment. I was their—am their guide. They look to me to be calm and collected. So that's what I will be…until I get into Musain.

I carry her all the way into the building and don't even bother to look at the Inspector tied up. I nod at the student who stands within the building guarding the man and speak calmly to him, "Go see if they need help outside." He nods back then hurries out leaving me alone with the Inspector and the body still in my arms. I give one last look at the man, but then finally drop to my knees around the corner of the door making me hidden from the others.

I slowly lower her legs down and bring that hand up to touch her face, "Why did you do that? Was he worth your life?"

'_Yes. Yes he is. He's worth everything…' That's what she would tell me_.

My lip trembles and I tuck my head into the crook of her neck hugging her close to me as more tears seep out of my eyes. I pull back holding her face again and take in a shaky breath, "I should've told you a long time ago how I felt Éponine…I should've told you that you were everything to me even if I went unnoticed by you. I should've told you that I was willing to do anything to make you happy…just to see you smile _at me_." I lean down to gently kiss her still warm lips and my heart breaks even more as my mouth lingers there, but finally I pull back to brush a piece of hair from her face, "Why didn't I tell you? Why couldn't I just bring myself to say it?" I lick my lips sniffling slightly, "I love you Éponine…always have."

I gently lower her to the ground and ball my hands into fists on my thighs, "It's too late now though…" I bite my bottom lip trying to rebuild the wall I had earlier and as I do so I hear a snicker from across the room and I look up to see the Inspector smirking at me.

"You'll all end up like her."

"Then so be it," I say calmly, "We fight for the people and if we die fighting for those rights they deserve than we have no regrets."

"Are you so eager to die boy?"

My eyes slowly shift back to look at Éponine, "Not eager, just ready."

There was a long pause and the tone in the Inspector's voice changed, "What was her name?"

"Her name was Éponine," I pause trying to find more to say, "her life was cold and dark, but she was unafraid." I look back at the Inspector with my wall now back in place and hit him with a set stare, "And _I_ will fight in _her_ name."

I stand up leaving Musain just as a group of students walk in and I pass Gavroche who leans on the wall with tears running down his face with his mouth moving in a whisper barely audible to my ears, "She was my sister…" I hesitate in my walk to say something to him, but what is there to say besides you're sorry? And my being sorry is that I couldn't have taken the bullet instead…I would give anything to have died in her place if it meant she'd live past the barricade. There was nothing to be said to the boy no matter how much I wished to say something.

I turn away in time to see Marius with a letter in hand and instantly I know that his mind is back to focusing in on his _darling_ Cosette. I find the nearest gun and stare at it with every intention of preparing myself to a battle when a hand drops onto my shoulder and I turn to see Enjolras staring at me with a look that says so much about what he is realizing would happen come light.

"Combeferre," he speaks quietly so no one else can hear, "she will not die in vain..."

I stare at him breathing slowly knowing now that he too had noticed my hesitation in carrying her body.

"I'm sorry," he says the words with the earnest of meaning then walks away leaving me to stare after him, but then I close my eyes and tilt my head up to let the rain wash against my face.

_Dear God above I ask of you one thing for when tomorrow comes: If I am to die please allow me to walk into your embrace with her at my side…let my love finally be known and my heart finally be given to her._

I let out a soft sigh feeling a certain weight lift off my shoulders just as the rain slows to a stop, but when I open my eyes a drop hits the tip of my nose and I'm forced to close my eyes again. When my eyelids shut the sight nearly stops my breathing. There it is a smile…a smile so soft, so pure, and so full of grace. Her smile. The smile I prayed to see since I met her. I can see it and be it because I'm going crazy in these few seconds or because she's actually smiling down at me from Heaven…I want to remember it for as long as I shall live.

_If I die tomorrow Lord…I want you to know that I will fight to live, but I'm ready to be taken into your garden to be with her. I'm willing to walk in that garden for an eternity if it means seeing that smile again. I need her Lord and wish to be with her till the end of time._

I open my eyes looking up at the slowly clearing sky and my heart tenses with every feeling I ever had.

_Éponine, when the Lord claims my soul…I promise to care for you more than anything else I had ever been blessed with on this Earth and promise to forever keep you happy. Because even in death nothing can stop me from feeling the way I do for you. And when I finally see you again I will say what I should've said long ago—_

"I love you Éponine."


	2. The Heaven of a Barricade Boy

**A/N: I got a request to write what happened after their deaths. It took sometime and some convincing from both myself and my inner 'Ferre, but I finally wrote it. So. Here's the last installment of Combeferre's Litte Fall of Rain...**

* * *

In the darkness I can hear an angelic voice calling out to me and it stirs my being into existing again: _'Combeferre...Combeferre, wake up. Open your eyes before you miss it…Combeferre, I'm here…Can you hear me?'_

Slowly I open my eyes and sit up with care from where I lay taking in my surroundings as I do. I'm in Musain, but it's not how I remember it last. Not too long ago it was in ruins, shambles, and rained with blood…no, now it was perfect. Everything about it was perfect. It is more glorious looking than it ever had been before. The wood shines almost from the light coming through the windows, windows that are no longer broken.

_I don't understand_._ What happened? How did this happen? How did such horror become so beautiful and new again? _

The last thing I remember was Joly resting his hand on my shoulder and then…nothing. There was no pain, no hurt, just the darkness and this feeling of being nothing. Then: I was here.

I climb to my feet slowly and brush myself off before walking—no, more like—gliding towards the table in the corner. I'm distracted now by my movements and have to stop to look down at my feet. I step forward and it looks natural, but it feels so different. I can't explain the feeling. It's almost like I'm suddenly weightless and floating on my own feet. How could this be?

_I'm dead. This is death. This is what it feels like to be dead._

I freeze in this second pushing away the thoughts of my movements to consider the most recent: That's right. The darkness was my world going black and my soul leaving my body, but then where am I now? I'm at Musain, but if I am dead…then why I am not in Heaven?

I go to the table and look down to see the all too familiar map that I would stare at with Enjolras for hours on end while Courfeyrac rambled on about something or another. This is where we spent most of our days planning; I glance around at the other tables seeing papers and mugs, bottles and books. My friends are all dead too, but why are they not here? Why am I alone? What have I done to deserve this?

'_Combeferre, are you awake yet?_' The voice belonged to a male.

My heart stops at the voice ringing in my head and I turn to look at the room, but see nothing. I open my mouth hoping that this strange realm will allow my voice to exist and thankfully it does, but in a soft almost angelic tone, _'Who said that?'_

'_You've been asleep for a long time. We were beginning to think you'd never wake up._'

I go slowly to the steps and look down them, _'Hello?_'

This time the response is a different voice: '_Always so punctual about being on time and yet he's the one who lulls about not wanting to wake up.'_

Another voice: _'Don't say that! He has his reasons for not waking up as fast as the rest of us.'_

I stop on the landing of the staircase not sure if I want to move or not, but as I stand here I take in what I can see of the lower level of Musain and again I am amazed at the beauty it now holds. Everything shines in the light leaking in, even the bottles have their gleam and I find myself not moving as I stare at everything.

'_You're making us wait again, Combeferre! Hurry it up!'_

I snap out of my daze remembering the strange voices and I'm forcing myself to finish my descent down the stairs. I pause again in the room to look around when suddenly something is blocking the light streaming in from the doorway. I turn my head to see what it is and my mouth goes dry, '_Courfeyrac?'_

'_We were wondering when you'd finally wake up,_' he smiles brilliantly at me then crosses the room to take my hand smacking my arm as he does, '_I can't believe you took the longest to wake up.'_

I ignore his comment to ask the question that has been bothering me since I woke, _'Where are we?_'

He shrugs at me keeping the smile, _'We don't know. I think this is one more step towards Heaven. It only makes sense.'_

_ 'Why aren't you in Heaven then?'_

_ 'We couldn't leave without our Guide_,' I look back at the doorway to see Enjolras standing there with a smaller smile than Courfeyrac's, '_It wouldn't feel right without you being there with us._'

_'So it's true then, we've all been killed._'

'_Yes,_' Enjolras walks into Musain where he touches my arm reassuringly, '_but we died fighting for what we believe in_.'

The sound of someone snorting comes from the door and we turn our sights to see Grantaire standing there, _'Speak for yourself, I died because I couldn't let you get killed alone.'_

_ 'You're a good friend Grantaire,_' Enjolras says softly then turns to me again, _'You've kept us waiting for some time now, but more importantly…you've kept _her_ waiting_.'

I feel my jaw slacken and my eyes widen, '_What are you talking about? Who have I kept waiting?_'

Courfeyrac pats my back nodding towards the door, _'Go on mate, she's waited long enough_.'

I exchange looks between the three, but then Grantaire is stepping—no, more like—floating out of my way so I can have full access to leave. I glide towards the entrance on light feet wishing I knew what was going on, but the minute I step out onto the street I am greeted with the sight of smiling faces all belonging to my friends. They are standing in a crowd all deep in conversation; some turn to acknowledge my presence while others keep to their groups, but those who I know the best all vocally speak up to greet me. But only one approaches me completely.

He stands a few feet shorter than me, but holds a smile brighter than I've ever seen before, '_You got a lot of nerve sleeping as long as you did. I think she was starting to worry._' He doesn't wait for me to respond and instead turns to look past the group of men to where our barricade still sits blocking the street.

And it too is as glorious as Musain had been; each piece of furniture seems to shine brighter than the last and the red flag blows in the nonexistent wind. The flag is also a wonder to stare at, but I'm not looking at it any longer. No. I'm looking next to it feeling my lifeless heart ready to burst.

There on the barricade…looking like an angel straight out of heaven _she_ stands with the softest of smiles directed at me.

_A smile for me?_

I glance behind me almost ready to see Marius there, but I hadn't seen him in the crowd and there were no others to look at aside from me. I slowly turn my gaze back to her and she's laughing.

I feel hands on my lower back pushing me forward and I look back to see Gavroche with his head ducked down trying to move me, _'This would be easier if you moved yourself.'_

I don't know what to do…for the first time in my life I don't know what to do. Do I move? Do I go to her? Or do I stay here and realize this is all not real?

_'Combeferre._' My breath halts altogether and I'm looking up at the barricade to where she's smiling at me, _'You made a promise to both the Lord and me that night…are you going to keep it?_'

'_Y-y-you heard me?' _I'm not sure how I manage to get the words out, but they slide out of my mouth and she nods.

'_I heard everything and I want to hear more…if you'll say._'

I'm gliding across the ground again and this time I'm doing it purely out of instinct; my mind is so caught up in its thoughts that I don't know what else to say or do.

_Tell her how you feel…tell her what you promised you'd tell her…_

I come to a stop at the bottom of the barricades and make the decision to climb up it never taking my eyes off her; in seconds I'm just below her feet looking at her trying to calm my breathing and nerves to talk.

_'I've waited here a long time Combeferre, will you say it?'_

I intake a quick breath and my nerves seem to settle as I stare up into those dark eyes, _'I love you, Éponine._'

Her eyes grow watery and a tear follows the action which makes her close her eyes.

_'I should've told you…_' my voice cracks and I don't care that the others are all standing below us listening, waiting; '_I should've said those words a long time ago, but instead I stayed quiet. God, what I wouldn't give to be able to go back to tell you those words while we were alive. I wish—I wish I could…' _my breath hitches and I'm finding it harder to speak in this voice that was given to me in death, _'I wish I could have saved you from dying, Éponine._'

She's shaking her head now and her eyes are opening; she crouches down to take my face in her soft hands smiling gently, '_No, don't say that. If you had died and I had lived…I would've never known that you felt this way.'_ She lets out an airy laugh, '_I was so blinded by what I thought was love for Marius that I never even noticed you standing there. You were always such a good friend to me, but I was foolish and didn't see how you truly felt. Bless the Lord for taking me into His arms, but bless Him even more for allowing me to hear your words after my passing. Combeferre…_' she pauses as more tears roll down her cheeks, '_I was willing to wait for as long as you wanted me to. I would wait forever if it meant that by the end of time you could forgive me for being so childish and not seeing you there.'_

Now it's my turn to shake my head in her hands and I reach up to rest a hand over one of hers, '_No, don't even think that. You needn't my forgiveness. You already have my heart, always have, and always will. You, Éponine, are the reason I was afraid to wake up'_—I'm starting to remember more of that darkness I went into—'_Because I was afraid that if I did you wouldn't be here and that I would have to walk through Paradise's door alone wishing that I could be in Hell instead.'_

_ 'Why do you say that?'_

_ 'Because every moment I spend in Heaven without you is equivalent to a lifetime in Hell.'_

Her lower lip trembles and she leans forward resting her forehead to mine and I close my eyes staying quiet waiting for her to do something, but then she does and I can swear that even though I'm not in Heaven I'm close to it. Her lips touch mine gently and the warmth envelopes me faster than the darkness of death did.

I lean into her kiss and rest on my knees as my other hand comes up to cup her cheek. I can feel a wave of emotions pour over me, drenching me in things I've never felt before. It takes me a moment to realize, but I'm clinging to her in this moment. My lips are begging her to never part from them and my hand on hers is entwining our fingers not wanting to release it. My mind and soul are both lost to her with my heart. There's no going back to change the past; there's no wishing we hadn't died; there's only us here and now in this moment given by God.

She pulls herself away from me to look in my eyes with that soft smile, '_You never have to be apart from me again, Combeferre. From this point on wherever you go, I go. We shall be there together in God's Paradise and never without the other. Do you know why?'_

My heart is about to burst in my chest, but I find my blessed voice, '_I think I do…_'

_'Just let me tell you for the sake of it needing to be finally said_,' she strokes her thumb over my cheek and smiles at me with the radiance of Holy Light that melts my soul on this Heavenly barricade. She opens her mouth and I finally hear the words which I've prayed to hear for so long, '_I love you, Combeferre…_'


End file.
